The biggest failure . . .

  • Rachael Herron

    The biggest failure . . .

    Guest Blogger:

    Description: Guest Blogger Rachael Herron talks about the biggest failure. . .

    Last night I went out with (as I think of her) my Young Writer friend. My favorite barista at my beloved but now defunct cafe, she has stars in her eyes about writing, and is applying to MFA programs all over the country. We ate sushi and talked about writing, and I remembered myself in her.

    When I was 25 — her age — I packed up my tiny Ford Festiva with its roller-skate wheels and headed to Mills for my MFA. I was going to light the world on fire with my prose. Or at least, I was going to write. And I lit a lot of things on fire, namely the cigarettes I was still smoking back then. I was giving myself two years in the ivory tower, two years to really focus on craft.

    Then, for those two years, I avoided writing as much as possible. I did the bare minimum, because that’s what we do sometimes, when it comes to what we love most, right?

    Artists don’t draw. Musicians don’t play. Writers don’t write. If we write, we fail (because when we’re learning something, DOING anything at all, we fail. Just part of the process). And as artists, we strive for perfection and failing is really not ideal.

    So we don’t write. I managed my 150 pages of a terrible novel for my thesis. I took an amazing dialogue class in which we read a book famous for dialogue every week and then wrote a three page scene in the voice of that writer (that did more for my skill with dialogue than anything else). I took a poetry class which almost killed me.

    Then I graduated and spent the next ten years also avoiding failure by not writing. Not writing = safe! Not writing = dreaming about the perfect words you’d string together if you just had time.

    What I didn’t realize was this:

    Not writing was the biggest failure of all. 

    No matter how spectacularly I screwed up in the writing itself (which I did! Still do! Spectacularly!), when I finally started to write everyday (thanks, NaNoWriMo 2006), I was succeeding!

    And seven years (JEESH!) later, I’m still writing, all the time. Every day. Even when I fail, I win.

    The job has gotten harder the more I learn. A rank amateur says LOOK I WROTE A BOOK YOU SHOULD READ IT OMG — a writer who’s spent years actively learning how to craft emotion out of words says, Well, you don’t have to read it. It’s the best I could do but it’s still not as good as Murakami. Maybe someday. *kicks rock* (Also known as the Dunning-Kruger effect *see below.)

    I’ve been both of those people. (Admission: I’ve been both of those people this WEEK.)

    But now, after publishing six books with two more on their way to shelves, I know I can do it. And I’ve changed my website a little bit because I want y’all to see that book up there to the left with its quotes and overview and all that because I’m proud of it and I’m excited for it.

    Pack Up the Moon. It’s literally the book of my heart, and it’s available for preorder right now. I’ll be releasing excerpts and reasons for you to preorder at my website, yarnagogo (gifts! prizes! kisses on the mouth if I see you IRL and you want one!) but the real truth is this: It’s a good book. It will make you cry, and then–I hope–it will help heal you a little bit. And maybe it will encourage you to write that book you have been wanting to write.

    I love the stars in my Young Writer friend’s eyes. The funny thing is I still have them, too.

    * “The Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which unskilled individuals suffer from illusory superiority mistakenly rating their ability much higher than average . . . Actual competence may weaken self-confidence, as competent individuals may falsely assume that others have an equivalent understanding.”

  • “Are your parents still speaking to you?” The Dangers of Memoir

    Guest Blogger:

    “Are your parents still speaking to you?”

    This question—a darn good one—comes up pretty much every time I do a Q&A. The short answer is “Yes.” My parents and siblings are all still talking to me; we still get together for holidays and birthdays and no blood gets shed. But this is not the case for other memoirists; I know several who are estranged from their families. Discussing family matters, revealing secrets, shining light on our most vulnerable and tragic moments including bad behavior or naive mistakes, and getting just our version into print, so it sounds like the official word on the subject: If this is what we do when we write memoir, then offending the people in our lives is one of our occupational hazards.

    The long answer is that this question is a great opportunity to discuss the distinction between the process of writing a memoir or personal essay and the process of publishing one. When writing, I don’t think about anyone, such as my parents, reading it, because I need to write freely and allow the thoughts, feelings, and images to emerge. Censorship in any form, including self-censorship emanating from a fear of hurting someone, hampers the creative process. But publishing–making this writing public–is a whole other story. When you get to the publishing stage, however, you have some decisions to make about what you are willing to reveal and risk in your life, for the sake of your art. When the memoir manuscript I’d been writing for ten or so years was finally about to become a book, I realized with a shudder that this was serious now, that the characters I’d been writing about were real people, with feelings and lives, that my looseness with words might accidentally hurt someone. So I gave it another close read, ignoring plot problems, repeated phrases, and awkward-sounding sentences to look solely at how I had portrayed the people in my life, especially the ones I wanted to remain in my life. Were there places where I tossed off a flip, and not really accurate, remark for the sake of humor or malice?  If so, was the result—a laugh, a cringe—worth the risk of insulting a real person? Sure enough, I found spots here and there throughout the book that felt rude, possibly hurtful, and most of them were not very entertaining or even very true. Many of these spots involved ex-boyfriends, some of whom I still love. Editing out insults turned out to be no sacrifice to the art of the work. What I nipped and tucked did not hurt the veracity of the memoir, and may even have improved it, because I applied an extra layer of empathy. And empathy is so crucial to a good memoir—and to good relationships, and to family Thanksgivings in which everyone comes out alive.

    Frances Lefkowitz is the author of TO HAVE NOT, a memoir about growing up poor in 1970s San Francisco which was named one of 5 Best Memoirs of 2010 by SheKnows.com. An award-winning and much published writer of fiction, personal essays, memoir, and flash fiction, Frances is also an editor, writing coach, and writing workshop leader. The former Senior Editor of Body+Soul magazine (aka Martha Stewart’s Whole Living), Frances is the book reviewer for Good Housekeeping and a manuscript reader for a leading literary agency. She blogs about writing, publishing, and footwear at PaperInMyShoe.com.    

  • Commitment and Success

    Guest Blogger:

    Today’s guest blogger is Ted Moreno, success performance coach and certified hypnotherapist.

    One of my favorite movie quotes comes from “Unforgiven” starring Clint Eastwood.

    William Munny (Eastwood), is a former murderer and outlaw. He’s got his shotgun aimed at the sadistic town sheriff, on the ground, already shot.

    The sheriff begs “I don’t deserve this. I was building a house. ”

    Munny replies “Deserve’s got nothin’ to do with it.”

    You can probably guess what happens next, if you know anything about Clint Eastwood films.

    It’s a harsh reality. What you feel you deserve has little to do with what you actually get.

    Because what you feel you deserve is only that: what you feel.

    And what you think and feel isn’t truth. It’s just what you think and feel.

    There were many times I didn’t feel like writing my book. Or editing it. Or re-writing parts that needed it. But I had made a commitment to my mastermind group to get it done by a certain date. The idea of not meeting the deadline seemed akin to not getting up in the middle of the night to see what my six year old was crying about.

    It’s easy to be ruled by what you feel you deserve, or like, or don’t like about what you have to do. But how you feel’s got nothing to do with it.

    It’s about what you are committed to.

    When you have a powerful commitment, such as to your child, it exists independent of how you feel, what you like or want, or what you deserve.

    People who consistently take action because of the strength of their commitments are called Extraordinary.

    Maybe you have no interest being extraordinary.

    But if you are reading this, I’m pretty sure you’re not committed to being powerless.

    Because that’s how we feel when we are unable or unwilling to take action and honor our commitments and our word.

    Up until 2003, the only thing I was committed to was not committing to anything. Someone told me “Ted, you don’t have a lot to hang your hat on.” Ouch. Not only did I feel powerless, I felt downright crappy

    But from 2003 to 2008:

    • I went back to school
    • Got married
    • Started a business
    • Had two kids
    • Bought a house
    • Started teaching a class
    • A couple of year later I wrote a book.

    What happened in those five years? Simple:  I made some commitments with the intention of keeping them.

    Do you have commitments that you are not living up to or that you know you should make?

    What would you have to do to make them in a way that inspires you and leaves you feeling powerful and unstoppable?

    Get a coach. Join a mastermind group. Figure it out. Then choose your commitments powerfully and wisely.

    Because when all is said and done, and it’s time for an accounting of your life, how you felt or what you thought you deserved will have nothing to do with it.

    It will be what you did because of your commitments that count.

    Ted A. Moreno

    Success Performance Coach

    Certified Hypnotherapist www.tedmoreno.com
    626.826.0612

    From Marlene:  Ted’s work is extremely effective. He listens carefully, offers appropriate feedback and suggestions that are helpful in getting to the heart of the situation. He is extremely perceptive, kind and understanding. If you think hypnotherapy might work for you . . . Ted’s your guy. 

  • The Truth About Fiction

    Guest Blogger:

    Guest Blogger L. Avery Brown writes about The Truth About Fiction.

    “It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction.  Fiction has to make sense.” – Mark Twain

    Smart fellow, that Mark Twain. He really understood the difference between storytelling via the written word as opposed to the tradition of oral storytelling. Case in point . . . my father was a master storyteller.

    And any little thing could trigger one of the stories in his ginormous mental Rolodex of memories. Every time he told a story it was slightly different and yet it was always the same. The people, the setting, the ending – they were always fairly consistent even if he left out little details. But that was fine, because his storytelling did what it was supposed to do . . . it planted the seeds of memories I didn’t realize had even taken root until years later when something would shake them loose. Suddenly, all those evenings listening to my father when I was a child, felt like they happened yesterday. That is the gift of oral storytelling.

    However, when it comes to the written word there is no ‘wiggle room.’ The setting, rising action, the climax, the falling action, and the resolution are always the same. And for those of us who write fiction, no matter what it may be, if we make use of ‘real’ locales and times (the present, the past, or the near future), we have to make wholly fictional stories borne from the recesses of our minds, as real and plausible as possible.

    Our heroes must be real enough they could be a neighbor, or the guy who owns the pizza parlor, or that lady who sells jewelry she makes. They have to have real issues. There has to be an honest reason for them to take on the role of the protagonist. What’s more, these fabricated people have to be so real that they’re flawed. Otherwise, they become cartoonish. And if that happens, it’s difficult for real people to latch on to characters who are so perfect they cannot envision those characters as being . . . them.

    Likewise, when we create villains, they must have a sinister quality that can make people shudder in fear or roll their eyes in disgust. But we must be careful to not create antagonists who are so ‘out there’ it’s hard for readers to imagine these dastardly fiends could actually exist. After all, really scary bad people are the ones whose darkness sneaks up on us like a thief in the night and before we know it, we’re caught in their web of lies and deceit.

    But it’s not just the characters that must be ‘real.’ We must create real situations that take place in plausible locations and that have logical resolutions otherwise our readers will go: This is ridiculous! This wouldn’t really happen.

    If a story has a great backbone but the overall picture…the sum of its parts, so to say…ends up making it come across more like Frankenstein’s monster than a delicate porcelain doll, it can be the death-knell for a writer. And today, readers are a picky and fickle lot. It only takes one poorly executed story to deter readers from ever picking up another title by the writer who almost got it right.

    So the truth about fiction is . . . keep it as real as possible.  Make the events, people, and all those little nit-picky things we often don’t think about so real, your readers aren’t just entertained by your words, they’re transported by them.

    Yes, Twain hit the nail on the head with his observation. Perhaps that’s why he was and is considered to be an iconic writer of fiction.

    L. Avery Brown is a former secondary level educator with over a dozen years devoted to the fields of history, special education, and curriculum development. Since 2007 she has become a devoted writer, something she’s loved to do for as long as she can remember. Professionally speaking, when Avery isn’t busy working on her own writing projects, she is also a freelance editor, publishing consultant, and digital media promotions consultant for Independent Authors like herself at BrownHousePrintWorks.com

  • An unforgettable essay.

    Guest Blogger:

    The best view in Santa Rosa, it is said, is from Paradise Ridge Winery. The tasting room looks westward toward the semi-organized suburban sprawl where we live and thrive and call home. There is, however, another view from just a tiny bit down the mountain from the winery.

    On Round Barn Circle.

    A slightly different view.

    Sutter Oncology Clinic has the same view, just not as high on the mountain. And the people who get to see it truly appreciate the vista. Sutter Oncology Clinic is the place where people go to receive a drip, drip, drip that will hopefully cure their cancer.

    I have had the opportunity to savor the panoramic splendor of Santa Rosa, California from the glassed-in aerie of this clinic.

    It’s a beautiful view. It’s a beautiful city.

    We, from here, can see the city sprawled out before us. We can also see the clouds and storms from the Pacific bringing us fog, drizzle, rain.

    Today as I waited, patiently and hopefully, for the juice to enter my veins for my specific illness I savored the view of this city of Santa Rosa. From up here, as the medicine seeps into my veins, I have a sense of distance from the ant farm that is the modern American city. There is another community, another city, brought together because we are in the same leaky rowboat, of cancer patients who see this panorama – this beautiful city of Santa Rosa – while accepting the latest and hopefully most effective and propitious drug.

    Drip, drip drip.

    An impromptu community.

    I have been coming here since June for my particular problem and I have to say that I have never been more welcomed, befriended, and accepted as I have been every time I show up for my chemotherapy.

    And I think it might be the view.

    Today I walked in and two of the nurses greeted me by my first name and asked if the restaurant where I worked, The Farmhouse, was busy. I said yes, indeed, we were. Booked until Thanksgiving. They nodded and efficiently, elegantly, found a proper vein for the drip, drip, drip, that I would be receiving for the next seven hours.

    In those seven hours I would learn that I am, indeed, the luckiest guy on the planet. I do have a bit of cancer that’s circulating, perambulating, goofing off in my bladder. This little drip, drip, drip, of chemotherapy that I receive will address and resolve that problem.

    I wish it were so simple for the people in the chairs surrounding me. I’m here for seven hours and I am one of the few without a port. A port is a plastic junction where the chemotherapy is injected. It is a semi-permanent appliance where cheerful and smiling nurses inject merciless, hopefully effective, drugs for deadly and mysterious ailments.

    A beautiful young lady sat next to me and had her elixir administered through such a plastic port. This thirty-year-old woman endured visits from in-laws and friends. Obviously in pain, she perked up whenever someone visited. She was the perfect hostess in English and Spanish as the visitors arrived and left.

    Until her children arrived.

    The boys, aged nine and eleven, spoke perfect English to the nurses and myself when I said “Hey” but they spoke in Spanish to their mother and their aunt who had accompanied them. Their mother had been on her medication for about two hours before they arrived. I could tell by her breathing that it was not a comfortable situation. But when her boys appeared she became a vibrant and caring mother. She transcended the side effects of whatever drug, whatever poison, for whatever malady was in her system and she became a mama. In Spanish the youngest son said, “My baseball game is at 10 o’clock on Saturday.”

    Auntie raised a finger and said in Spanish to her sobrino, “There are more important things right now.”

    The young man fought back tears and said, “You are right.”

    This stuff that they are pouring into my veins is truly miraculous. Whether or not it snuffs out what is growing wildly within me really doesn’t matter. Today, because I had to be here in this place, at this time, I watched a boy become a man.

    That is the best view in Santa Rosa.

    Because of the people who are in it.

    Rob Loughran usually writes about sillier stuff. His latest novel Beautiful Lies is available at Pages On the Green bookstore in Windsor, CA

  • Suzzane Murray

    How Nature Can Enhance Your Creativity

    Guest Blogger:

    When I received the inspiration for the name of my business Creativity Goes Wild, I was on a modern day vision quest with Bill Plotkin in an extraordinary canyon in southern Utah that allowed me to really open to the flow of new ideas. Along with the name, I also got that the essence of the work included three different elements: Nature, creativity and the soul which are aspects we can connect to that can really help us live full and authentic lives.

    I have long thought of nature as the original artist. If you spend any time in nature and pay close attention, you become aware of the beauty and design and patterns in both small things like the symmetry in pine cones and snowflakes or on a grander scale the patterns in the erosion of mountains or the movement of clouds across the sky.

    At first glance nature might look chaotic or random or disordered but the more you observe and learn about the natural world the more you become aware of the elegance of design in every creation. We can draw inspiration for our own creativity from spending time in Nature, the same way we feel inspired by visiting an art exhibit, going to a play or watching a good movie.

    Spending time in nature actually slows down our brain waves, taking us from the beta waves where our mind attends to daily activities into alpha waves which offer a naturally meditative state where we access the part of our mind that has new thoughts and ideas, flashes of insight, and more readily makes connections. This can help us with the essence of the creative impulse and process.

    Whenever I find myself stuck on a creative project I will go for a walk in nature and it always opens me back up to the flow. Or if I am looking for a place to begin a creative work I will plant the seed in my subconscious mind and then go to nature, not to think about it, but to allow the inspiration to rise to the surface of my mind.

    Try it. Whether you like to sit in the garden or go for a walk among the trees, see if you don’t find that connecting to nature doesn’t open you up to new ideas and possibilities.

    Suzanne Murray is a gifted writing and creativity coach, EFT practitioner, intuitive healer and writer with deep ties to Nature and the wisdom of the Earth. She offers writing and creativity retreats in beautiful natural places including Yosemite and the West of Ireland.

  • Getting Published

    Guest Blogger:

    In a way, getting published, whether in article form or book form, is about finding the right fit. When you submit a piece you are looking for the perfect partner. In that sense it can be compared to modern dating or job placement. Both parties are looking for something — it is the match maker, recruiter or agent’s job to make sure everyone gets what they want. If you don’t have an agent, you must take on the role of match maker yourself, courting various editors and selling them on your story. Several months ago I found out about a woman in San Francisco turning old Muni buses into mobile showers for the homeless. It seemed like a brilliant idea and a perfect fit for a women’s magazine. I wrote a pitch highlighting the female innovation angle. My contact there loved it. Unfortunately, the editors above her did not. So I stored the story away and went about working on other pieces. I didn’t give up on it though. I knew it was a great story, it just hadn’t found the right home. I waited a while and then revised the pitch to fit a more general audience instead of a female focused audience and pitched it to Newsweek. They loved the idea and the result is The Great Unwashed. It took months for that short piece to get printed, but I am glad I didn’t give up on it. Sometimes in writing you just have to have patience that the right fit will come along eventually and step forward when it does. Just like in so many of life’s other searches.

    Katya Cengel has written for National Geographic, Newsweek, Salon, Esquire and Sports Illustrated   among other publications. Her University of Nebraska book “Bluegrass Baseball: A Year in the Minor League Life” was rated one of the top ten non-fiction books of 2012 by Shelf Awareness and was also a finalist for the 2013 Kentucky Literary Award.

  • B Lynn Goodwin

    What Would You Do With a Goal and a Deadline?

    Guest Blogger:

    NaNoWriMo, www.nanowrimo.org, invites you to draft a 50,000 word novel in one month. I’m doing it for the second time, and I’m going for higher word totals than the 1667 suggested daily allotment. I just want this first draft out of my head. I want material to work with.

    Not a fiction writer? You can still achieve a 30-day goal with memoir, biography, or any other form of non-fiction thanks to author and writing coach Nina Amir’s WINFIN, http://writenonfictioninnovember.com/about-2/. WINFIN (Write Nonfiction in November) is “an annual challenge to create a work of nonfiction in 30 days.”

    The rules are simple: Decide what you’re going to complete and go for it. You can create “an article, an essay, a book, a book proposal, a white paper, or a manifesto” The program “operates on an honor system…no word counts logged in here. It’s a personal challenge, not a contest.” Simply describe the nature of your project and come back at the end of the month and say how you did.

    Working on a memoir? Guest blogger Dennis Ledoux provides a day- by-day guide that conveniently runs for 30 days: http://writenonfictionnow.com/how-to-write-your-memoir-in-30-days-2/. November 1 is an arbitrary start date, of course. Pick your own starting day, but pick it soon, and commit yourself to working on the project for the next 30 days. Need weekends off? Commit yourself to working for the next 40 days.

    The author of the bestselling How to Blog a Book: How to Write, Publish and Promote Your Work One Post at a Time (Writer’s Digest Books), Nina Amir is a nonfiction editor, proposal consultant, author and book coach, and blog-to-book coach with more than 34 years of experience in the publishing field.

    The other day I thought about starting a National Journaling Month. Journaling primes the pump and greases the wheels. It gets writers started. It helps them dig deeper into their thoughts and find multi-dimensional truths. Participants in the National Journaling Month could record daily events, track their eating or exercising or arguing behaviors, analyze and resolve a decision about school or work or parenting, derail a negative thought pattern, or celebrate the joys of life. Journaling is an outstanding preparation for any writing project. It helps you figure out what you really want to say.

    Journaling for 30 days can achieve its own set of miracles, just like completing a non-fiction project or even writing a 50,000-word novel. Set a goal. Then share it with a community of writers. You’ll never know what you can accomplish if you dream of writing instead of actually doing it.

    B. Lynn Goodwin is the owner of Writer Advice, www.writeradvice.com, and the author of You Want Me to Do WHAT? Journaling for Caregivers, available on Amazon. Her stories and articles have been published in Voices of Caregivers; Hip Mama; the Oakland Tribune; the Contra Costa Times; the Danville Weekly; Staying Sane When You’re Dieting; Small Press Review; Dramatics Magazine; Career; We Care; Thickjam.com, Friction Literary Journal, and The Sun.

    A former teacher, she conducts workshops and writes reviews for Story Circle Network and InspireMeToday. She’s working on a YA novel and brainstorming a memoir.

  • Jordan Rosenfeld

    How to Stay on the Writing Path

    Guest Blogger:

    “The seeker embarks on a journey to find what he wants and discovers, along the way, what he needs.”  —Wally Lamb,The Hour I First Believed

    “Not all who wander are lost.”J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

    How to Stay on the Writing Path by Jordan E. Rosenfeld

    I believe that most writers are also seekers. While we may have a larger-reaching goal to find an audience and be published, ultimately, the writers who stick out the hard times do so because there is gold to be found along the journey. Sometimes it’s the kind of gold that requires mining and panning and sweat and agony. Other times it comes silently, a gift in the night from a willing muse. But one thing is for sure: writing gives as much as it takes—and it takes a lot.

    So how do you stay on the path of writing without falling off? How do you overcome the critical voices (internal and external) without giving up? Every writer soothes themselves differently, but sometimes soothing is in short supply, and it’s then you have to turn to other resources beyond yourself to find that boosting. And if you’re letting despair or discouragement drag you down, remember you don’t have to. You’re not alone! There are as many allies on the path as there are villains. It’s my goal to be one of your allies.

    For this month, remind yourself that a writer’s life is a worthy endeavor, a high calling, an important purpose. For this month I ask you to put in place one new support for yourself, be it a quote of kind words over your desk, or a buddy who will hold you accountable.

    Starting in the New Year I will be blogging the topics of my book in the works: A Writer’s Guide to Surrender. I chose the word surrendernot to imply giving up, but instead, a settling in to what matters most. It’s also a concept I find immensely helpful when things are not going as we hope; when rejections roll in, when the writing isn’t flowing, when criticism stings. Surrender is, at root, a state of accepting your vulnerability and not letting anything harden you.

    Let’s stay flexible and gentle with ourselves. But don’t get off the path. It’s your right to walk it!

    Jordan E.  Rosenfeld is author of the novel Forged in Grace, the writing guides Make a Scene: Crafting a Powerful Story One Scene at a Time, Write Free: Attracting the Creative Life (with Rebecca Lawton) and the forthcoming: A Writer’s Guide to Surrender: A Tool-kit to Build and Bolster a Lasting Writing Practice. Jordan’s essays and articles have appeared in such publications as AlterNet.org, Marin Magazine, Publisher’s Weekly,  San Francisco Chronicle, The St. Petersburg Times, Whole Life Times, The Writer and Writer’s Digest magazine. Her book commentaries have appeared on The California Report, a news-magazine produced by NPR-affiliate KQED radio.
    Learn more about Jordan and her writing wisdom at: www.jordanrosenfeld.net

  • Simple Structure for Building the Essay

    Guest Blogger:

    Continuing with Guest Blogger, Susan Bono, here are building blocks for writing personal essay, or memoir.

    Character: you

    Problem: give yourself a problem

    Struggle: problem creates conflict

    Epiphany: after struggle, a flood of new understanding

    Resolution: what you do differently as a result

    Many essays begin with a clear, straightforward statement of intent. All essays have an implied thesis and should have a clear angle —a particular way of approaching and narrowing the subject matter.  For example, notice how the following statements could shape your narrative from the start.

    I want to tell you how ______________changed my life. (Universal statement: this is the basic scaffolding for every personal essay)

    I learned about ________from ___________.

    I thought I would never learn to love ____________.

    We’ll continue this exploration of personal essay and memoir over the next few days with intriguing writing prompts suggested by Susan Bono.