Guest Blogger Ted A. Moreno: How You Became What You’ve Become
I’m learning a new song on my guitar: “Africa” by the band Toto.
One line of the lyrics intrigued me: “I seek to cure what’s deep inside, frightened of this thing that I’ve become.”
It’s never really explained in the song what that means. How does someone become something that is frightening to one’s self?
Seems to me that it doesn’t happen all at once, of course.
It’s more like the frog peacefully floating in increasingly hotter water until he is boiled, never aware of what’s happening so he never jumps out. Kind of like death by a thousand cuts.
Perhaps a good word would be entropy: the gradual decline into disorder.
How does someone become someone that they are not happy with?
- It happens one extra cookie, or additional scoop of ice cream or portion of food at a time.
- It happens one extra drink or cigarette at time.
- It happens the day you decide you are not going to take that walk or go to the gym and then one day leads to two days, then three…
- It happens when you don’t make that extra phone call, or send that card or that letter, or drop by to say hello and then that becomes the norm.
- It happens when one day you don’t get up on time, arrive on time or leave on time, one day at a time.
- It happens that one time when you don’t say I love you, or smile, or go out of your way to be generous. It’s easy not to do, so it can happen again and again.
I heard a saying once “If you stand in sewage long enough, you can become comfortable with it.”
We can become very comfortable with the gradual lowering of our standards for ourselves, the gradual lowering of our expectations, the lowering of our energy, stamina and strength.
Then one day we step on the scale, or look at our bank account, or realize that our marriage or business is failing. Maybe the doctor tells us something we didn’t expect. Or we end up in the hospital, or divorce court, or getting our kid out of jail. And we ask ourselves: How did I get here?
Answer: One neglect, one bad choice, one wrong word, one bad habit, one “it doesn’t matter” or “didn’t get around to it” at a time.
No one sets out to become unhappy, unhealthy, unmotivated, unproductive and unsuccessful. The problem all too often is, we neglect to keep our goals in front of us so that we choose each day to do what it takes to be happy, motivated, productive and successful. Sometimes we think that it will happen by itself.
The good news is that the same principle that tears us down is the same one that can build us up: what we choose to do every single day.
If you have accomplished anything, triumphed over anything, or become someone you are proud of, it happened every single day.
Can you walk for 5 minutes a day?
Can you hold out for one less cigarette a day?
Can you make one phone call a week? Send a letter a month?
Save a small amount of money each week?
Can up get up 5 minutes earlier each day? Go to bed 5 minutes earlier?
Can you smile at one person a day?
If you are able to do any of these, than you have power to become what you love, what you respect, what you admire. Success by the inch is a cinch, by the yard it’s very hard.
Take steps to cure what is deep inside, whether it’s apathy, resignation, cynicism, or fear. Becoming who you want to be might only take a small action every day.
Like the song says: “Hurry, it’s waiting there for you.”
Originally published by Ted Moreno, April 9, 2015 Ted A. Moreno is a hypnotherapist, success performance coach, published author, educator and sought-after speaker who helps his clients become free from fear and anxiety, procrastination and bad habits such as smoking.
